Tag Archives: memory
He’s at the opposite pole from where I am
He’s the first hand raised in the audience and wants to know why I think Canada is so much more tolerant of gay people than the United States. Afterward, he’s the first to have his book signed. “I want you to know,” he says, “that … Read more
Posted in Giraffe People, Writing
Tagged adventure, art, artist, boundaries, character, control, father, god, grace, grief, heart, heartbreak, injury, joy, kid, love, marriage, marriage equality, memory, mindfulness, power, queer, relationships, safe, savor, self, simple, story, women, Writing
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Mod
“I have no patience for behavior mod,” I say.
“Then you’re lucky,” she says, “that your wife does it for a living.”
I am. I am lucky. Last night, Mary and Gavin were making a cape and cosmic suit for his fennec fox. G wanted … Read more
Mothering
I was thinking this morning about the evolution of the mother figure in my novels. In Red Audrey, the mother has mental health issues and ultimately commits suicide when Jane is a child. In Field Guide, the mothers run the gamut from cruelty to tenderness, … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged adventure, art, artist, boundaries, brokenness, character, control, father, field guide, giraffe people, grace, grief, heart, heartbreak, injury, joy, love, may sarton, memory, mindfulness, mother, power, red audrey, relationships, savor, self, shame, simple, story, women, Writing
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Tenderfoot
I’ve talked about my wife’s straight face before. She is readily identifiable as gay when she’s with me. And that’s it. The rest of the time, she is assumed to be straight. It is a terrible burden, assumption. It is a burden like evasion is … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged adventure, boundaries, brokenness, chameleon, character, control, grace, grief, heart, heartbreak, Jason Collins, joy, kid, lesbian, love, mary, memory, mindfulness, power, queer, relationships, safe, savor, self, shame, simple, Sports Illustrated, story, women, Writing
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Grace with boundaries
It is the work of my adult life to distinguish between being nice and being kind. I have an obligation to be kind. To treat humans, animals, the earth, etc. with kindness. I am an advocate of grace, which is to say, applied compassion. I … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged boundaries, brokenness, character, control, grace, heart, heartbreak, injury, joy, kid, lesbian, love, memory, mother, Nice-Guy Myth, power, queer, relationships, safe, savor, self, shame, simple, story, women, Writing
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Homecoming
I couldn’t have met Mary at any other point in my life and had it come to anything. That first time, that time in the bookstore, had to be a bust because I wasn’t ready. I like to think about that though. That we’re given … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged boundaries, brokenness, character, control, dogs, grace, grief, Hazel, heart, heartbreak, injury, joy, kali, latte, love, mary, memory, mindfulness, power, relationships, safe, savor, self, shame, simple, story, women, Writing
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The Bride in White
The bride appears, suddenly, from between her father and stepfather, and advances down the aisle. But really it’s the moment she rounds the corner and stands in full view that is so exquisite. In her white princess dress. The veil well back on her hair. … Read more
Be better than your culture
Mary and I were talking yesterday about how difficult it is to raise boys in this culture, and I argued it’s difficult to raise anyone. We have to raise boys, now, to be better than the people around them. We have to teach them kindness … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged art, boundaries, brokenness, character, control, gender politics, grace, grief, heart, heartbreak, injury, joy, kid, love, mary, memory, mindfulness, mother, power, self, women, Writing
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Rehearse this
My kid is testing empathy. And it’s an odd and sometimes discouraging process, as his mother, to see him choose to be funny edged with mean. Quick-witted people have to learn to filter, and that can be difficult when others respond positively to barbed humor. … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged boundaries, brokenness, character, check your privilege, control, grace, grief, heart, heartbreak, injury, joy, kid, love, memory, mindfulness, mother, power, queer, relationships, safe, savor, self, shame, simple, story, women, Writing
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V is for Vulva
She is young, and having a hard time. “Relationships are so much work,” she says. “You and Mary probably don’t even fight.”
Oh. Dear lord. We are Irish and alpha and sentient beings. Of course we fucking fight. Even if she agreed with me all … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged alphabet game, bliss, boundaries, brokenness, character, control, grace, heart, heartbreak, injury, joy, love, marriage, mary, memory, mindfulness, power, queer, relationships, safe, self, shame, simple, story, women, Writing
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