Tag Archives: masochism

The fluid spectrum

On that glorious morning when the Supreme Court ruled for Marriage Equality, Mary and I spent much of the day commenting on how rad our friends are as joyful posts and rainbows lit up social media. And then, late in the day, one of my … Read more

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Girl in a Band

“I┬áno longer want reminders of what was, what got broken, what got lost, what got wasted.” -Joan Didion

Mary cut her hair and now she looks exactly like I imagine her at eight. And nothing, she likes to remind me, like she was as … Read more

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Bigger than you?

I can feel this tension in my chest when people start talking about being the bigger person. It’s such a creepy expression. If you’re the bigger person then who’s the smaller person? Are you intentionally naming a smaller person?

I’m bigger than you are! Why … Read more

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Science! and progress

I woke this morning to Science! the gerbil dragging herself across the first level of their habitat. And because I have learned to hold them but am not yet brave enough to pick them up, I called for Mary, and that’s how Science! died: in … Read more

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PTSD

I finish washing dishes and find her, sitting in the Hagrid chair. Her eyes are red.

“Are you crying? What happened?” She doesn’t say then. And later, I find her perched on the edge of the bed, her eyes redder. And the thing is, if … Read more

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Meaning

The difficult thing about mean people is that sometimes they really love you. I mean really. That in one breath they say the kindest, most insightful thing, and in the next they are so cutting that you can hardly stand upright. And one could argue … Read more

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My interview with my wife. Not on video.

“Wanna interview me?”
“Sure. Oh, you mean, now?”
“Kinda.”
“I don’t get time to think about my questions?”
“No, you do.”
“HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO WRITE A BOOK? ………….. Jill, that’s the first question.”
“Oh, we’re not interviewing on video?”
“No. You … Read more

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First do no harm

I prefer redemption stories. I am finally at that age older women assured me of. That age when I will mother-figure the fuck out of you. Where my first response is tenderness. You beauty. You beauty.

I understand, at last, that the hurdle was my … Read more

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Vanilla

Yesterday, to my great delight, I read numerous articles debating whether or not spanking was mainstream. And, if it is, what that means for feminism. This is just so American, isn’t it? Two months ago we’re embroiled in a Congressional showdown over birth control; every … Read more

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Adaptive morality

One of my favorite things about humans is our generosity. When we meet people, we allow that they are much like we are. We believe them to be reasonable. To be thoughtful. To be kind. To have aspirations. We believe, in short, that they are … Read more

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