Tag Archives: father

Home before dark

When Mike Stock told us about the orange clay pools, we called bullshit because Mike Stock lied as habitually as the rest of us chewed gum.

“I’ll show you!” he kept saying.

And so a pack of us entered the woods that morning, behind the … Read more

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Privacy

I was twelve the first time I shaved my legs. Nervous, I locked the bathroom door and spent quite a while sorting out how to navigate┬ámy ankles and knees, and how high you’re actually supposed to shave. Before I’d finished, my dad kicked the … Read more

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This terrible love

I’ve been getting hot chocolate with my father, while my son has his trumpet lesson. The girl in the coffee shop is improbably tanned. Remembers what I drink. Asks if I play an instrument, too. It’s not quite flirting. But more than friendly. Girls.

We … Read more

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Gay

I was given these small doors as part of an art installation and I’m to write (or draw) my coming out story on them. I’m not sure what my coming out story is. Is it when you know? Is it when you tell? Is it … Read more

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Full up

Mary’s gay boyfriend from high school was in town this week for his stepfather’s funeral. He said that during the service a video looped depicting friends, family and treasured memories, and both he and his husband (they’ve been together for more than 25 years) were … Read more

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It’s a tumor

This weekend, my dad sent me a long strange email offering my son a trumpet, and also telling me he has a large tumor in one of his lungs that has to be surgically removed. Cancer was mentioned in the email, but not definitively so. … Read more

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Make a joyful noise

On car trips when I was a child, we listened to Roger Whittaker. Hours and hours of Roger Whittaker. Lionel Jeffries reading Winnie the Pooh, Sesame Street sing alongs, and Roger Whittaker. Otherwise, we heard music in church on Sunday. White people hymns: the burden … Read more

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But speaking for god is problematic

I keep trying to write in this space. I think about it. Sometimes I even get this far. Start typing. Fill the white with character after character. Make myself tired.

I can’t remember now if my dad said that he spoke for god or if … Read more

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In relation

Part of how we individuate as adolescents is to cast ourselves against our parents. My parents were devoutly religious. So I believed in nothing. I had an active death wish as a teen. I was self loathing. Riddled with shame. Contemptuous of everything. Desperate for … Read more

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Hardware

My paternal grandfather died when my dad was 18. He’d been an old man before his sons were born, a chronic worrier and an avid smoker. He’d also owned a series of hardware stores. He sold the first refrigerator in Spokane. My dad found a … Read more

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