Monthly Archives: April 2013

Tenderfoot

I’ve talked about my wife’s straight face before. She is readily identifiable as gay when she’s with me. And that’s it. The rest of the time, she is assumed to be straight. It is a terrible burden, assumption. It is a burden like evasion is … Read more

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Grace with boundaries

It is the work of my adult life to distinguish between being nice and being kind. I have an obligation to be kind. To treat humans, animals, the earth, etc. with kindness. I am an advocate of grace, which is to say, applied compassion. I … Read more

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Homecoming

I couldn’t have met Mary at any other point in my life and had it come to anything. That first time, that time in the bookstore, had to be a bust because I wasn’t ready. I like to think about that though. That we’re given … Read more

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The Bride in White

The bride appears, suddenly, from between her father and stepfather, and advances down the aisle. But really it’s the moment she rounds the corner and stands in full view that is so exquisite. In her white princess dress. The veil well back on her hair. … Read more

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Be better than your culture

Mary and I were talking yesterday about how difficult it is to raise boys in this culture, and I argued it’s difficult to raise anyone. We have to raise boys, now, to be better than the people around them. We have to teach them kindness … Read more

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Rehearse this

My kid is testing empathy. And it’s an odd and sometimes discouraging process, as his mother, to see him choose to be funny edged with mean. Quick-witted people have to learn to filter, and that can be difficult when others respond positively to barbed humor. … Read more

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Please praise what you love

I used to dread the question: What’s your book about?

Um. It’s a kind of love story. (Red Audrey.) It’s a tragedy. About martyrdom. And family.(Field Guide.) Yes. Yes, way to pitch, Jill Malone. But now, I look forward to you asking because fuck, I’m … Read more

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V is for Vulva

She is young, and having a hard time. “Relationships are so much work,” she says. “You and Mary probably don’t even fight.”

Oh. Dear lord. We are Irish and alpha and sentient beings. Of course we fucking fight. Even if she agreed with me all … Read more

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It only hurts when I breathe

How do we recover, do you think? Do we recover by writing? By telling our story? Do we recover from the slow, steady work of tackling it, and sitting beside it, and swimming with it? Do we take it to pieces and scatter the pieces? … Read more

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