Monthly Archives: December 2011

My dear fellow, I haven’t cheated this entire relationship

We were discussing cheating, the way you do at dinner parties. “What is cheating? If you don’t have sex, have you cheated?” “Which is worse, an emotional affair or a casual hook up?” “Who cheats more, men or women?” And then Mary said, “It’s hard … Read more

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I’d like mine with a side of privilege

Years ago, this guy walked up to me in the bookstore and asked if we had any magazines on bears.

“Sure, in our Nature section.” I started to show him.

“Um, no,” he said. “I mean lifestyle bears.”

And I stopped and looked at him … Read more

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More googly eyes, stat!

I have just re-glued a googly eye. And you never expect to be this person. The one who says, “This wall doesn’t have any of his art on it. And should.” I used to think my parents were insane. You’re keeping the mouse I painted … Read more

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The Christmas Episode

I’ve been ill for two months. Sinus. Chest. Sleeplessness. The kind of endless monotony of coughing where I’ve forgotten what came before coughing. It hasn’t felt like Christmas. No snow. An unusually warm autumn. I have had trouble remembering to be grateful. I have had … Read more

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Born

How can I explain about the pool? I remember swimming in infancy. Is that possible? I’ve seen the photographs — the delight, the submersion — and maybe that’s what I remember. I’m underwater when tadpole boy swims for me. A breast stroke, some thrashing kicks, … Read more

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Clit test

Attraction is just attraction, isn’t it? What I mean is, attraction is chemical, not mathematical — so attraction isn’t proof that we’re good for one another. I’d assert that women invest too much in our attraction — particularly if we’re lesbians — but that’s nonsense. … Read more

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Ameliorate

When I call her in the afternoon, and she answers, she often says something like, “I started a war with CPS today.” Or, “I put a client on discharge for threats of violence.” Or, “She read her auto, and I knew it would be awful, … Read more

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Bless our pea-picking little hearts

I always wanted 4 children, all boys. I had no idea what I would do with a daughter. What if she wanted to wear high heels? What if she loved Barbie?

Sometimes I’m an asshole.

How is that any better than saying, What if I … Read more

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Feminists

For a long time, I denied being a feminist. Mostly because the ones I met kept kicking me out of the clubhouse with lectures about how I’d only be welcomed if I thought and behaved exactly as they thought and behaved — took up whichever … Read more

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Holler

We binge on episodes of Law & Order SVU. We have seen every season, and most of them several times. I reckon part of the appeal is to witness sex crimes being taken seriously. And to have the various holes in our perceptions, in our … Read more

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