Monthly Archives: October 2010
Abroad
In Germany, we got one television channel in English and, except for rare occasions, all it played was crap. And by crap I mean sports. I was four the first time I saw the cartoon Sinbad Jr. — the one where he tightened his belt … Read more
Preachergirl
Conversation with parent(s), take one:
Parent(s): Where’s Mary this evening? Is she with you?
Me: She doesn’t feel welcome here.
Parent(s): contemplative silence
Conversation with parents, take two:
Mother: Is Mary joining us?
Me: No. She doesn’t feel welcome here.
Mother: Why not? Hollering to … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged boundaries, brokenness, father, god, grace, grief, heart, heartbreak, injury, joy, kid, lesbian, love, mary, mindfulness, mother, relationships, self, shame, women
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In the street
The girl pushes me off the curb, and I’m standing in the street looking up at her.
“Do you know what I want to do now?” she screams.
“Yes,” I say. “You want to hit me.”
I see something close in her face. She is … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged asphalt, beacons, boundaries, brokenness, grace, heartbreak, hit, injury, irish, lesbian, orange, relationships, safe, story, women
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Chloe
So about the movie Chloe: Aren’t we done yet with the obsessive hyper-sexual lesbian and her eventual, climactic swan dive? Or the wife without boundaries whose stability derives only from the men in her life? Atom Egoyan has made some of the most powerful and … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged art, artist, boundaries, brokenness, chloe, exotica, injury, kid, lesbian, mother, obsessive, relationships, sweet hereafter, women, Writing
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Tender
I get tired during arguments. Vomited emotions make me sleepy, and it takes an unbelievable amount of focus and will not to say the easy, mean thing and put an end to all communication. Sometimes I’m more successful at restraint than other times. This gets … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged arguments, boundaries, brokenness, codependence, control, feelings, grace, injury, mindfulness, self, women
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The falling sky
When I worked at the bookstore, I had to have a rule about purchases, or I’d buy everything. There’s nothing so painful as touching every single book of fiction that comes into a store. The rule: if I wanted to buy a book, I had … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged absolve, art, bookstore, boundaries, character, grace, grief, heart, heartbreak, injury, kindling, love, memory, mother, red audrey, relationships, story, women, Writing
4 Comments
Domestic Partnership
Every time I hear this phrase, I think of cats. Are you a domestic shorthair? No, I’m the other one. I wish it were a little more subversive. I wish I didn’t instantly picture aprons and dish washing. Wait, OK, that’s kind of hot, but … Read more
Enliven
In Truth and Beauty, Ann Patchett discusses the weird anxiety she developed about her characters during the writing of her first novel. She began to worry that something would happen to her, and her characters’ lives would be obliterated. When I read it, I remembered … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged ann patchett, artist, character, corridor, dialogue, instrument, memory, mother, protagonist, red audrey, story, voice, Writing
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Quit your bitching
3:43. I wake every morning at 3:43. The light grey and half-hearted. The muscles in my back seizing and dispensing a painful euphoria. Focused. Undiluted. Clarity in every direction. This is when I understand Buddhism. Your thoughts are just thoughts. Your breathing. The stretch and … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged ala moana, crocodiles, insomniac, memory, oreos, relationships, self, story, switch
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Alarm fail
How do you determine whether or not you trust someone? Is it a gut response? Is it something you feel? Do they accrue trust over time. Reach some indeterminate quota? Do you start with trust and work backward? How does it work for you?
I … Read more
Posted in Writing
Tagged boundaries, grace, love, patch, relationships, sucker, tend, trust, women
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